Loving the Church - Domestic and Universal

Family ministry benefits from reflection on the story of the Church. The Church is like a family. I am reminded of this mystery when my five married children and their offspring get together at my house (this doesn’t happen too often since it is a mob of 30 people!). All my children do not agree on every point.  They have different philosophies of parenting. They have different opinions about how to relate to their parishes, though all of their children are baptized. Some of my children are homeschoolers, while their brother loves his public school. One of my children opposes vaccination; the others are cannot imagine not immunizing their children. When they were a bit younger, we would have some heated discussions. But as they have matured and their own children are growing, they have put away their swords and let other people be themselves.  They love each other and want to stay connected and make their relationships work.  They agree on the essentials, the “dogmas” if you will, of family life, like love, mercy, listening, and forgiving. The basic truths that we all agree to and hold dear keep us together as the years go by.

For me, this illustrates my feelings about the Church. The basic truths of our faith keep me connected to those who have gone before me. I love the Church like a family, and I want to stay connected, even when it is uncomfortable. Just like my adult children, I find that my Profession of Faith includes my assent to love, mercy, listening and forgiving. I recognize that I do have a responsibility to do my part to nurture my relationship with the Church and to be an authentic agent of passing on the Tradition by living it authentically.

God Dwells with Us

God dwells with us. When we know where to look, we will see God at work in the high-energy, joyful days and in our most trying times, too. Where God is present, holiness is there.

We see parents sacrificing their own wants for their children’s good. We see mothers and fathers spending time together, nurturing their marriages. We see families reconciling after hurts. We see parents comforting members that are hurt. We see children urging their parents to learn and grow. We see them practicing hospitality to others, taking meals and visiting the sick and lonely. We see their Christian symbols on the house for Easter and Christmas and identifying themselves as followers of Jesus. We see them going to church and participating in liturgy. We see other Christians organizing actions that help the poor.    

Yes, the signs of God's Kingdom are all around us if we look with eyes of faith. How is your family holy?  In what ways do you see other families being holy? What will each of us do to inspire our families to see themselves as “domestic church” -- a training ground in which we become, as the Fathers of the Church taught, “good housekeepers” of God’s present and future kingdom? 

Family Ministry Events - Think BIG!

I was recently invited to speak to the parents of recently-baptized babies at a local parish. The faith formation director had advertised the event to “Everyone who wants to know more about how to pass on their faith to the next generation.” I was rather surprised to find that half of the participants were grandparents! The workshop I had planned for young parents still gave them ideas to take home to their children and grandchildren.

When we seek to reach out to families in our parishes, we need to think bigger than married parents and small children. Of course, we want to encourage and empower traditional families, but many people in our parishes do not see themselves as having a family. These parishioners may not consider themselves invited to a parish “Family Night.”  If people perceive that they must be the parents of young children, our event will only attract that group. (And there will be times that we want that targeted focus, such as a marriage enrichment evening.)

However, everyone belongs to a family.  Not everyone is a parent, but everyone has a parent, living or deceased.  One may be a sister or brother, aunt or uncle. Someone who lives alone may have friends who are family to her. Single parents, spouses whose partner doesn’t come to church, single adults who care for aging parents, single people discerning their life’s vocation, divorced and remarried couples, couples experiencing infertility, grandparents whose children have stopped practicing the faith: all these folks belong to families. We believe they come to Church to seek God’s help with their family situations.

Consider billing a parish event for strengthening family life: “Sharing Your Faith with the Ones You Love.” Think of how many more people might consider themselves invited and attend.  Everyone who loves his or her family – however it is structured -- can benefit from a mission that assists them with skills, knowledge, and inspiration for sharing their faith more effectively.

Think even bigger! If we reach out to all family members whatever their age, home life, or situation, we could reach even more people through the people who love them. We hope that all the participants in our mission will become the missionaries to their family members we do not see in church.

Religion Can Be a Main Source of Family Strength

We don’t go to Church to get holy; we go to remember that we are holy. The Second Vatican Council reintroduced a concept that comes from the Church’s earliest tradition: the Christian family is a “domestic church”. This ancient teaching emphasizes that families can embody Christ in day-to-day experiences of their lives.     

The “domestic church” metaphor may originate from the fact that Christians met and worshipped in private homes long before they erected buildings specifically for the purpose of worship.  However, activities essential to the image of church -- education, hospitality, and care for the poor -- were carried out in early Christian households – and still are!  Christian family life involves not only prayer in words, but in deeds, as well. 

Holyness in Every Famiy

Your families are holy.

Family life minister, Cathy Chesto, says: "Each of us has received the call to holiness in our baptism. All of us are called to live a religious life.  Christian parents live the vocation to married life, following this call to be like Christ, and to be Christ to others. Every parent who loves a child is called to teach and model the God who is love.  Every time we pick up a crying baby, we teach the first and the most important lesson on prayer: when you cry out, someone answers. Until you believe this, you cannot pray. God is present in the ordinary times of family life, in which all we do can become prayer."

Catholic tradition sees the family – mother and father with their children -- as a true expression of the Church – the “domestic church”. The leader of our church is the Pope, which means “Papa,” and Papa and Mama lead the church of the home.  In Follow the Way of Love, the U.S. Bishops point out that, no matter its brokenness or challenges, all families are holy because God is at work in them.