Even More Ideas for Homemade Spirituality

“Practice makes perfect,” my mother said. Recently, Homemade Disciples has explored a family friendly approach to spiritual growth.  Here are some more modern twists on ancient practices that draw us closer to God and toward deeper, more life-giving relationships.  Let’s consider how busy parents and those caring for others can practice Prayer, Reconciliation, and Journaling in real life.

Can you think of other practical applications?

PRAYER & GRATITUDE - Often we are overwhelmed by the kindness of others, including God, and those times are some of the best to offer up a prayer of gratitude to God.

·         Create and pray a special grace before meals.

·         Share one prayer intention for your partner to pray before he sleeps.

·         Say the rosary together at the start of a car trip.

·         Make a running list of what you are thankful for.

·         Sign up for email prompts for daily prayer.

·         Learn about each other’s religion; visit each other’s churches.

·         Create decorations for the current holiday season and display them.

·         Engaged and dating couples, hold hands and pray evening prayer before going home.

·         Meet friends for a walk at dawn; greet the new day with gratitude.

RECONCILITION - Reconciliation is the end of the estrangement, caused by original sin, between God and humanity.

o   Practice active listening. Make sure you are hearing what the other is saying and that he is hearing you.

o   Identify one strength of your family of origin; forgive one weakness. 

o   When you are wrong, say, “I’m sorry; please forgive me.”

o   When you are right, don’t gloat.

o   Celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation

JOURNALING – A journal is a helpful way of keeping up with our spiritual journey. A spiritual journal is different from a regular journal. It is a written record of personal reactions on spiritual matters.

o   Write letters and email thoughts.

o   Start a photo album for a visual journal or make video. Why use only words?

o   Learn more about Spiritual Journaling from Michael A. Haywood’s excellent article at http://home.earthlink.net/~haywoodm/SpiritualJournal.html

Spiritual Disciplines for Better Family Relationships

To learn to love as God loves, you must practice. Over the centuries, Christians have learned that certain practices or disciplines help them keep the spiritual channels open and help keep the heart turned toward God. A “spiritual discipline” is a habit or regular pattern in your life that repeatedly brings you back to God and opens you up to growth.  In the monastery, novices spend many years cultivating the qualities needed for their vocations, practicing spiritual disciplines of awareness and self-denial.  

Here are some modern twists on ancient practices that draw us closer to God and toward deeper, more life-giving relationships.  Can you think of other practical applications?

PILGRIMAGE - Pilgrimage is a way God gives us to answer that yearning to physically travel to discover God and the truths about ourselves.
•    Visit your childhood home, school, or playground. 
•    Spend time with elder relatives and hear their stories.  
•    Explore your local cathedral or shrine. 
•    In this Year of Mercy, go through the Holy Door at your local shrine.

FASTING – Fasting is about doing without what are ordinarily necessities to us. Fasting is a means of getting our minds back on the reality that we are not self-sufficient.
•    Give up needing to have the last word.  
•    Eat simple meals this week, mindful of those who are hungry. Donate to your local food bank.
•    Change an unhealthy habit, (i.e., swearing, smoking, credit buying, or abusing drugs or alcohol. 
•    Married couples, turn off the TV or computer one hour early and go to bed for a massage.

HOSPITALITY - In the ancient world the practice of hospitality meant graciously receiving an alienated person into one's land, home, or community and providing directly for that person's needs.
•    Invite a friend to share a simple meal. 
•    Welcome the new person in the office or a new neighbor.
•    Greet people politely in public places with the surprise of courtesy. 
•    Engaged and dating couples, include others in your recreation time. 
•    Married couples, make your bedroom inviting.

Coming soon: Check back in a few days for Part 2.

Showing the Way #2: Edith Stein, Affirming Human Dignity When Evil is in Power

Edith Stein was a pioneer in encouraging women to become involved in both the family and professional and political life. Who are the women in your life and community that are witnesses for the Gospel? 

Edith was born to a Jewish family at Breslau on October 12, 1891, but she declared herself to be an atheist in her early teens. Through her passionate study of philosophy she searched after truth and found it in reading the autobiography of St. Teresa of Jesus. In 1922 she was baptized a Catholic, though she honored her mother’s Jewish heritage throughout her life. A woman of singular intelligence and learning, she left behind a body of writing notable for its doctrinal richness and profound spirituality. In her writings, Edith Stein affirmed the dignity of women, and encouraged every woman to seek to live out in her own life and circumstances the ideal of true womanhood.  In 1933 she entered the Carmel of Cologne where she took the name Teresa Benedicta of the Cross. During the Nazi persecution, she was arrested with others of Jewish heritage and gassed at Auschwitz on August 9, 1942, offering up her sufferings for the people of Israel. She was beatified by Pope John Paul II at Cologne on May 1, 1987.
•    The Catholic bishops of the United States offer guidance for us to act in today's politically confusing times in Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship, the teaching document on the political responsibility of Catholics. This statement represents guidance for Catholics in the exercise of their rights and duties as participants in our democracy. 
•    How has your own family heritage prepared you to recognize the dignity of every person? Who influenced you to become a more generous and compassionate person?

Showing the Way - Stories of Witnesses Who Inspire: #1 Fr. Walter Cisek

Do you live or work in a situation in which it is difficult to express your faith openly, what can you do quietly to be a witness to Christ? You and your family should get to know about Walter Cisek. 

Fr. Walter Ciseck is known for his clandestine missionary work in the Soviet Union between 1939 and 1963. This American-born Jesuit priest was sent to minister to the faithful in Poland in the late 1930. When the Soviet Army overran Eastern Poland, Fr. Ciszek fled with other Polish refugees into the Soviet Union, hoping to serve them (in disguise) as a priest.  In June 1941, he was arrested by the Soviet secret police as a suspected spy. He spent five years in Moscow's infamous Lubianka prison and then 15 years in Siberia. In addition to his forced labor, he served as priest to his fellow prisoners, risking his life to offer counseling, hear confessions, and celebrating Mass. He was finally freed in a prisoner exchange and returned home to Pennsylvania, where he wrote two books about his experiences before his death in 1984. Fr. Cisek said that he learned to trust God’s will: “No danger could threaten me, no fear could shake me, except the fear of losing sight of Him.” His cause for canonization is proceeding.

•    Fr. Cisek risked his life to bring the sacraments to his fellow prisoners. What do the sacraments mean to you? Reflect on the gift you have to receive the sacraments freely.
•    If you live or work in a situation in which it is difficult to express your faith openly, what can you do quietly to be a witness to Christ?
•    Fr. Cisek discovered that every circumstance and event in his life – both positive and negative -- revealed God’s will for him. What is God showing you in your own state in life and present situation?

Lent is Prime Time to Reconcile at Home

During Lent, the Church invites us to make the journey inward and be truthful with ourselves about how we behave and what kind of person we want to be. At home with our families, it is especially hard to pretend to be what we are not.  We will travel the weeks of Lent, and our destination is God.  Our path is transformation to be better lovers, better parents, better friends. Lent is a gift to us--Lent keeps it real.  It is the grace of God that keeps us in the direction of our desire and goal.  We trust God to be gentle with us; may we be gentle with each other. 

Lent can be a good time to have a family meeting to grow in mercy and be more forgiving. With your family, or with a few friends, try this Family Meeting of Reconciliation and Forgiveness. 

If you enjoy this experience, you can find more meeting plans from the Christian Family Movement.

Keep the Year Holy at Home

                              
Spirituality is a journey taken one step at a time.  You never know--some of these ideas may become habits you’ll carry into the next year, and many more to come.  Here are some suggestions for growing in holiness throughout the year.
•    Cultivate a sense of gratitude. Greet each child with a smile in the morning, thanking God aloud for the gift that a child is.  Summer offers innumerable examples of the glory and abundance of God’s creative genius.  Recognize the wonder of a sprouting seed and the beauty of full bloom. Model for your children an appreciation of God’s gifts.
•    Rededicate yourselves to mealtime prayer. Whether it’s a picnic at the park or hotdogs on the run, begin with bowed heads and thanksgiving. Light a candle.  (A citronella candle can do double duty: God is present; bugs aren’t!)  Your prayer can be a simple ritual like holding hands, saying “Thank you, God” together and blowing out the candle can be a graced moment for your family.
•    Commit to Sunday Mass even when traveling. This speaks powerfully to your children about the centrality of your faith. Your family trouping into church as vacation visitors also gives a witness to the regular parishioners.
•    Extend your family circle. Whether it’s the new child on the block or the elderly neighbor you don’t see all winter, summer is the perfect time to reach out and include them.  Don’t fuss about making special plans; just invite others to join whatever you’re already doing.
•    Serve others. Teens can shovel snow or mow lawns; gradeschoolers can walk dogs or pick up mail.  Kids are often more than willing to do chores for someone else than to do them at home.  Volunteer service works wonders for boredom.  Older teens may even be able to volunteer for a week away from home in programs helping disadvantaged children or underprivileged communities.

Families Encounter Jesus in Their Own Stories

Over the Christmas holidays, we visited with family from far and near. We gathered around the festive table and reminisced about the past year, and even retold old stories that we always tell when we come together. We tell the stories that make us laugh and the stories of love that make our eyes moist when we tell them again. We don’t have them written down; we know them by heart.

Stories teach us life has a shape. Life has beginnings, endings, turns, returns.  Life has ups and downs, losses and triumphs. Stories teach us that there is hope, even when things look dark and hopeless.

What were some of your favorite stories when you were a child? Can you tell why you liked those ones?

Christ is at work in the events and struggles of daily family life. Our religious heritage is founded on the power of story. Bible came from stories told and retold orally. If you had to pick a favorite bible story, what would it be? Why is it a favorite?

If we want to pass on our complete faith to our children, we must work to make these stories part of their lives.

Telling bible stories in your own words - Some tips:

1.            Know the story yourself. Show resource books.

2.            Set a time to tell stories, a “campfire” time.

3.            Be expressive, dramatic.

4.            Search out the fuller meaning of the Sunday readings and share with the family in the car or over breakfast.

5.            Get some good books of Bible stories.  I love this book by Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

6.            Don’t be afraid to retell stories in your own words.

7.            Be selective. Not all stories should be retold to children (use your own judgment).

8.            Deepen your own understanding and love of Scripture. I recommend the Catholic Study Bible.

Mary, Help Us Be a Light

On this feast of the Immaculate Conception, we recall how God perfected Mary from the very beginning, so that Christ could grow in her. Now, as are another week closer to the celebration of Christmas, we  pray to grow in family love so that our light will shine so brightly that we will light the way to Christ for others. We pray to Mary to help us truly see the light shining in the darkness. 

Family Advent Activity: Turn off the lights in the house. Talk about how we can change darkness into light by the good things we do for each other. Hold hands and make a tour of your house. As you move from room to room turn on the light and talk about what someone does in each room to light up other’s lives—what someone does in the family room that light up other’s lives, what someone does in the kitchen, etc. Light each room with a prayer for a special intention—a prayer for peace, a prayer for hope, a prayer for love, a prayer for joy, or a prayer for the needy.

The Power of Love

In the wake of the terrible attacks in Parish last week, I heard many strident voices calling for revenge, counter-attack, and more violence. Those voices did not give me any comfort or reassure me that the world would become safer. Three other voices gave me hope and calmed me. They called me to remember the power of our God made present in the goodness of kind and peaceful people.
First, our brothers and sisters in the Bruderhof, a Christian community, reminded me that Christmas is still coming, and no terrorist can change that. “Belonging to the Christmas message are the well-known words of Martin Luther King Jr., ‘Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.’ These two things – love and light – should spur us all to action.”
Second, dear Mr. Roger’s voice told me the advice he learned as a child from his own mother: “For me, as for all children, the world could have come to seem a scary place to live. But I felt secure with my parents, and they let me know that we were safely together whenever I showed concern about accounts of alarming events in the world. There was something else my mother did that I've always remembered: ‘Always look for the helpers," she'd tell me. ‘There's always someone who is trying to help.’" 
A small boy in his father’s arms was interviewed in Paris the day after the shootings. The child told the reporter how frightened he was of the bad people with guns. His father pointed to all the people laying gathering to pay their respects at the make-shift memorial and said “They might have guns, but we have flowers.” The power of the goodness in the world is stronger than fear.
We must be the helpers. My ministry with families is one contribution I can make to build a more peaceful world. I do this work because I am a follower of Jesus, who calls me to care for all God’s people, especially anyone who is hurting or marginalized. We are responsible for one another. I believe in the importance of families to be safe and loving places for their members and for all of society. I also recognize that living in a family is not easy. I believe in the importance of educating members of the Christian community, lay people and clergy, about what our Church really teaches -- about marriage, family life, and the dignity of every person-- so that they can help and not do harm by indifference, prejudice, or ignorance.

Happiness: A Long-Term Project for Parents

The coming of children to a marriage can be experienced either as a loss in the couple’s relationship or an expansion of it. The evidence that we have from marriage research reinforces a sober picture that parenthood puts a strain on a marriage. For parenting to be a positive experience for the couple, as well as for the children, the health of the couple’s relationship needs care and support from many quarters. While it will be helpful for parents to improve communication skills and engage help from friends and family, they may still find the job of parenting overwhelming. They should not go it alone.

Your faith is the chief support of your marriage. Research shows that couples who are more religious tend to be more satisfied in their marriages, experience less conflict about common issues and higher levels of commitment and are less likely to divorce. Religious couples were more likely to report being satisfied in sacrificing for one another and have a stronger team identity. Couples seem to benefit most from religious practice if they are involved in it together.

With faith spouses can trust God to help them beat the statistics and continue in partnership. They also need to build ties with other parents who are in the same boat. A community of like-minded friends, at church and in the home, are a treasure. Parent groups that they organize in their parish or neighborhood, like the Christian Family Movement, can provide such a network. 

God and good friends help the spouses  to participate in a project that is bigger than both of them. In the process, they experience what Christian tradition calls “the Paschal Mystery,” dying to their old selves and rising to a new life. They learn in their vocation as parents that suffering leads to glory. 
Who are your partners in parenting that help keep your marriage strong?  

Halloween: We Are Not Afraid

Some Christians do not celebrate Halloween and consider it at odds with their faith. Many other Christians are fine with Halloween and enjoy dressing up and decorating and carving pumpkins.. I respect the choices of parents who say Halloween is not for them, but I love Halloween. It was my mom’s favorite holiday. Her birthday comes just a week earlier, and she reveled in Halloween preparations combined with her own party. She taught me the fun of dressing up and trying on a new identity with a few touches of makeup and some old clothes. It is the Eve of All Saints, and now I count her among them. Halloween is when we laugh at the things that scare us, ghosts and monsters and skeletons. We laugh at death, and say “You won’t get me!” To me, that is a deeply Christian hope. The Mexicans remember their beloved dead at this time of the year, also. El Dia de Los Muertos, the Day of the Dead, is a time to celebrate eternal life and recall the blessed company of our loved ones. So, stock up on candy and welcome the trick-or-treaters – even the teenagers. Life is sweet. Death has no power over us, because we belong to Christ

Still Smiling about the World Meeting of Families

The World Meeting of Families was a spiritual experience that my husband and I will never forget, because we really did “experience” meeting families. The people that we rubbed shoulders with made it a joyful assembly, even though most did not actually see Pope Francis. If we had really needed to see him, it would have been easier to do from in front of our computer screens. Attending the World Meeting Congress at the convention center during the week, we encountered a surprising number of people we know from the Christian Family Movement (CFM), an international organization that promotes family life. They came from Malawi, Philippines, Mexico, and Costa Rica, as well as from California, Iowa, and Texas. We met a CFM couple from Canada, whom we had previously only Skyped with, and embraced like old friends. We feel truly blessed to have been with so many wonderful families.

Fourteen of our grandchildren came on Saturday and Sunday, and we rode to train into downtown. Our daughter-in-law made sure we had matching red T-shirts, all with the LOVE sign. We were quite a procession marching down the street, and someone told us they had seen our family on TV! Several young families who are friends with our kids joined us with their many children and babies. These family friends were one of the best signs to me that our family can have a positive impact on the world: We literally multiply our witness and expand our impact on society when Christian families join together. The three five-year-olds, walked all the way to the Festival of Families site, about 3 miles from the train station to our blanket on the Benjamin Franklin Parkway.

The multi-national crowd at the Closing Papal Mass was friendly and prayerful. All the police, national guards, and WMOF volunteers were so welcoming and smiling. I think they also enjoyed the positive, appreciative people greeting and chatting with them. I saw police posing for photos with kids and one state trooper led his section of the crowd on the parade route in a wave. Security was very tight and the bag searches were thorough, so much so that many people had trouble getting into the Festival area. All in all, the World Meeting of Families was real win for the “City of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection.” It was also a real win for the mission of Jesus, the Light of the World. We saw Pope Francis drive by, and we loved that, but our best memories are those of the smiling couples and children we met in Philadelphia. We received his blessing, and we also shared the blessing of our families. 

What Parents Wish Parish Leaders Will Remember

Building the competence and confidence of Christian parents to pass on the faith is the mission of everyone who ministers with families. In Evangelii Gaudium, Pope Francis challenges ministers to improve our relationships with parents as co-missioners for passing on the faith: “We need to practice the art of listening, which is more than simply hearing. Listening...is an openness of heart which makes possible that closeness without which genuine spiritual encounter cannot occur. Listening helps us to find the right gesture and word which shows that we are more than simply bystanders” (EG 171). 

Wise parish staffs and individual catechists will make parent meetings and consultations with parents so intelligent, so excellent, so sensible that the people will want to come. Make the experience comfortable and hospitable. Have beautiful music and prayer. Make it your goal to meet each person face to face, rather than just have them mail in registration. Invite members of other parish organizations to be on hand to meet and greet people. Provide a parish “sponsor” for new families. Announce and welcome newcomers.

Parents want to do what is right for their families. Guidelines cannot and should not be enforced as though they are rules, particularly concerning sacraments. Think of Pope Francis’ image of the Church as a field hospital: Care for peoples’ immediate needs. Rehab can begin later, once you form a relationship of trust and respect. 

Recognize that parents have the most influence in forming faith. Include adults in planning; tap into the skills and talents they have. Partner with leader families: They will see their friends and neighbors in the workplace and on the soccer field, ant their homes must be places from which good news is communicated (EG 86). 

Be considerate and gentle with people. Life is very full, and they have challenges you wouldn’t guess. “Everyone needs to be touched by the comfort and attraction of God’s saving love, which is mysteriously at work in each person, above and beyond their faults and failings” (EG 44). Along with Pope Francis, we dream of a Church with its arms wide open, like the father of the Prodigal son, where there is a place for others, with all their problems (EG 47). Kindness and patience you offer to parents today can radiate to others who have not yet experienced the joy of the Gospel, spreading what Pope Francis calls “a revolution of tenderness” (EG 88).

Good Stewardship Begins at Home

Freshman move-in day marked a new chapter in the parenting lives of many of my friends. They are proud of their children, and at the same time they wrestle with anxieties and concerns for their safety.  Young parents delivering their kindergarteners to school have the same mixed feelings. They hope they have prepared them well. All these parents are feeling deeply their responsibility and love for their children, no matter their ages. They take seriously their stewardship of their children.

Parents steward their children in many ways.  For example, parents are responsible for keeping their children safe, not only by keeping them away from danger but by gradually teaching them to make safe and healthy choices and to recognize danger for themselves. Another example, parents teach prayers to their children and seek to build up a habit in the child of turning to God with trust and love when faced with a worry or concern. Parents’ goal should be to build self-mastery and personal initiative for Christian virtues in the child so that he or she will become an adult steward of himself. 

The tradition of viewing parents as stewards of their children goes back to the earliest days of Christianity.  The famous bishop and preacher St. John Chrysostom (340-407 CE) insisted that the family’s mission is to be a force in society to cultivate the kingdom of God. He explained his expectations for the work of the Christian home:  “When we teach our children to be gentle, to be forgiving, to be generous, and to love their fellow men…we instill virtue in their souls and reveal the image of God within them.  This, then, is our task: to educate both ourselves and our children in godliness; otherwise what answer will we have before Christ’s judgment seat?”  

In our families, we are stewards of our children but also of each other, husband and wife. Husbands and wives are called to “die to themselves” every day so that the marriage may flourish.  Married couples are called to grow in generosity towards their spouse and others.  They nourish their relationship by making time for one another, serving one another, listening to one another and always seeking the good of the other. In other words, as stewards of each other, husbands and wives are called to help each other grow in holiness. We are preparing for an eternal home.

Be the Change You Want To See

“Put on your own mask before helping others.” Before every flight, we are reminded of this basic survival strategy. Take this as a lesson for family relations, too.  When people are excited, afraid or angry, we can be most helpful if we manage our own emotions. When we can stay calm, the result is always better than if everyone keeps escalating. We call this being a “non-anxious” presence.” 

Jesus was very good at being a non-anxious presence: Think of how he responds calmly to the angry mob around the accused woman. Jesus did not argue and accuse. He remained calm. Instead of launching into a confrontation, he defused the situation by stooping down and writing on the ground. All the combatants had time to pause and remember their own sins. The situation was peacefully resolved. 

If one person in an emotional system can be a little bit different over a sustained period of time, the whole system will eventually change. Think “self.” Think about what you may have contributed to the problem. In a marriage, don’t ask, “How can I change this troublesome partner of mine?” Ask instead, “What is my contribution to this relationship pattern?” Practice bringing your own calmness to the situation. Rather than demanding change, ask questions to learn why people are acting that way. When things get tense or heated at home, someone has to be the adult. Let it be you.

Who's Job Is It? Sharing Chores, Sharing Skills

     A standard reflection exercise in marriage preparation programs helps engaged couples discuss what household jobs each expects to do. Most people have been raised to expect that certain jobs are done primarily by one sex or the other. The Pre-Cana discussion can help a couple clarify their expectations about household roles as they start their marriages. It also will remind couples that the job assignments aren’t written in stone. Many couples shift their roles and responsibilities several times throughout the years of their marriage.  When they become parents they may be slow to spread the tasks out to children as they grow and develop their own skills and preferred ways of doing things. Is it time for some job reclassification in your marriage and family life?
    The issue may be more serious than you think. One of the main causes of domestic problems is domestic – as in, housework. Who picks up the used newspapers? Who takes out the trash? Who will empty the dishwasher? Who walks the dog? Sound familiar?  One way to improve family life and reduce conflict is finding better ways to share the mundane tasks of their life together. 
    It can be hard to let go of our “specialties” and allow our spouse or kids to give a task their best shot. I know that sometimes I cling to more than my share of the housework out of a need to meet the expectations – real or imagined – of my mother and friends, none of whom are going to actually see the results. He’s really more thorough at vacuuming than I am, and his mom taught him to make perfect hospital corners on the sheets. I would really benefit from adopting some of his automotive skills, too. 
    Sharing chores is also good training for the future. When our kids were at home, I reluctantly turned over house painting to my son. Eventually, he surpassed me in technique.  Now that he’s married he paints his own walls, not mine. I miss having my daughter around to organize my spice cabinet and keep track of my pantry—now she is managing her own kitchen. By giving up some favorite tasks, I found I was training capable adults—a good trade-off.
    Creating a partnership of life and love in a family sometimes comes down to changing how we wash the dishes or make the bed or store the groceries.  We can let go of our idea of perfection in order to accept the help of our spouse and children. Sharing tasks will mean more time at the end of the day for us to appreciate each other.  

Wake up to God's work in your family

The Trinity is the central mystery of our faith, and it also enlightens our understanding of how God is at work in our families. In what concrete ways do you experience the three Persons of the Trinity in your family life? Here is an exercise you can use with any age group.

• I experience God the Holy Spirit in when I am feeling most creative and insightful. I know the Spirit is at work when a friend calls me on the phone just at the time I am thinking of them, or when I most need to hear their voice. I have learned to expect the Spirit to help me find the words to express my condolences to someone who is grieving, or to not say something that is on the tip of my tongue.  As I have become “older in the Spirit” I know that, if I really can’t stand a certain person, that is just who I will be teamed with for the project—because the Spirit of God will not let us stay infants and leads us to reconciliation. When do you feel the Spirit?
• I experience God the Son especially in the Scriptures and the Eucharist. Jesus is alive for me in the words of the Gospels, meeting individuals just as flawed as I am and loving them into peace. Jesus suffering and dying is made real to me in every Holy Week, as well as when I am struggling with a special sorrow or loss. In the assembly of the Mass, I am caught up with my brothers and sisters who have gone before me in faith, and even with those still to come, as we process toward the altar to receive Jesus into our bodies. I experience Jesus in my own body when I visit a hurting person or sit with a friend who has lost her job. Jesus uses my hands and voice and is present. He is alive. When do you experience Jesus' presence?
• I experience God the Father in the majesty of Creation and in the smallest woodland weed. I marvel at the intricacy of the spider web across the path and know God has been on that path ahead of me. When the lightning crashes, I am glad to be safe inside but marvel at the power that I know comes from God’s masterful design. I am fine with calling God my Father, and I don’t worry that God’s motherhood is not expressed. I believe God is the perfect Father, and the world would be a better place if more human fathers listened to him. God the Father informs my own motherhood, because I experience God as my partner in bringing children into the world, feeding them, protecting them, forgiving them, and letting them go. God the Father puts his shelter over me and gives me a home, the Church. When do you recognize God the Father?

Enrich Marriages with Virtues Education - Focus on Strengths

When planning marriage enrichment, focus on the strengths that couples already have—although they might not realize they have them.  Marriage in the Lord comes with the grace to live it out by growing in virtues needed for happy and holy families.  Christian couples should reflect the Biblical character qualities that St. Paul called “the fruits of the spirit:” love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Gal. 5: 22-23).  These are qualities they want to have in their couple relationship, but they are also the basis for a parenting program by Christian marriage and family educators, Les and Leslie Parrott. In The Parent You Want to Be: Who You Are Matters More Than What You Do, the Parrotts advise parents to grow in Christian virtue themselves in order to raise children well. 

Marriage education programs, whether secular or faith-based, help adults learn and practice these qualities in their couple relationship.  In Beyond the Myth of Marital Happiness, Christian family educator Blaine Fowers describes how embracing the virtues of loyalty, generosity, justice and courage can strengthen a marriage relationship. Fowers claims that marriage education based on improving communication and increasing emotional satisfaction is not adequate. Instead, he believes that the best marriages are partnerships in which spouses are devoted to creating a shared life based on shared values.  

These two great resources provide strong background in my series of small group meetings for couples, Wisdom and Grace for Marriage and Parenting, available as a digital book form the Christian Family Movement. The meetings, which do not require a facilitator, cover communication, conflict resolution, appreciating differences, sacramental foundations of the family, and prayer.